I grew up reading comic books wanting to be a superhero. Comics taught me that those who speak the truth are heroes, all the rest are liars.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Hot Dog Malarkey!

My sleep has been disturbed lately by politics and I need a break. When I can’t sleep…my minds naturally wanders to hot dogs…Yeah, the critical mass of hot dogs, their bacteria decomposition, if hot dogs would make good weapons of mass destruction, the fact that 100 billion hot dogs is as heavy as 40,714 blue whales…There’s a lot to think... so here's some hot dog malarkey:

1. Any hot dog eaten at a sports game is great but not as good as the very next one will be! This is a universal law. I've had hot dogs at stadiums all over the country and never had a bad dog. Which makes me a little sad to realize I won't be eating a Dome Dog again, but the very next dog eaten at any baseball game will be my very best...until the next one! I call this the hot dog theorem.

2. For hot dog eating anywhere else on planet earth, Hebrew National is the best! Yes they are Kosher (meaning 'fit to eat') but most importantly, they are the best tasting dog. There are some few exceptions to this like #1 above or eating a chili dog at Ben's Chili Bowl in Washington DC, or Nathan's on Coney Island and the urban hip Po Dogs in trendy Capitol Hill strip of Seattle. I've eaten dogs are all of these and have to say...they rock not just because of the dogs but the friends, family and environment that came with the dogs.  However, for the most part...Hebrew National has my tasty award for their meat!

So inquiring minds want to know...what constitutes a great hot dog? To me the perfect dog is a grilled Hebrew National served on a lightly toasted bun with a little slightly spicy golden mustard, ketchup, pickle relish and grilled onions. Some like Chicago or New York, or Philly style, but I'm more of the plain jane of hot dogs.  The exception to this might be a National dog with good southwest chili topped by raw onions and a little sprinkling of aged Cheddar....and a shot of Maalox an hour later...(Yes I'm willing to suffer in the course of finding that perfect dog!)

In fact I like dogs so much I've been thinking about buying my kids a job as a hot dog vendor. Naturally we will be serving up MN's hot dogs on a stick (even if they didn't originally come from here). So my life's work with hot dogs continues... Dam...I'm hungry...time for a dog break... Enjoy the weekend!

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