I grew up reading comic books wanting to be a superhero. Comics taught me that those who speak the truth are heroes, all the rest are liars.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

'If I Could Start Again A Million Miles Away'

Because it's Tuesday, and I'm cold (so cold I could shatter at any moment! Touch me and I'll break apart into little squares of human ice cubes that spill upon the frozen earth. I suppose they would bounce...a little...then the cubes of myself turn to crushed ice..geez I'm losing it),

and the damm car broke down (sigh again...I swear it senses when I can least afford a breakdown and does it on purpose...it's like the g*d of auto is vengeful and has it in for me personally. Why else does it wait until I'm broke, exhaused mentally and emotionally and it's the coldest day of the year and then...it breaks down? why? Did I mention that it's already cost more than I make in two months to repair? What did I ever do to deserve this?),

and the cat is still sick (in fact the cat is probably more depressed than me...given it has to stay inside with a stupid collar on so it won't reopen a sore on it's head! Right before leaving for work this morning the cat was looking for a way to end it all including baiting the dogs...),

and work sucks (does anyone ever have a job that doesn't?),

and I'm a tad depressed (the usual end of winter, run of the mill, can't take much more of this cold depression)...

but mostly because Johnny Cash is a legend and captures how I'm feeling...

Johnny had been playing in prisons for more than 10 years when he recorded his legendary live prison records in San Quentin and Folsom in the late 1960s. “I really was interested in some kind of prison reform,” he said in a 1994 interview, “but I don’t think that’s the answer. The answer is out on the street. Jobs. Opportunities. Racial prejudice is another thing that’s wrong, and a reason for the crime and the drugs, too."

It's still the answer, but seems like nobody is asking the question....

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
On my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
my sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away in the end
You could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way...

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